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Do You Have the Balls to Ride in the City? Now You Can Buy Them

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bike balls anatomically shaped bicycle tail light

They say it takes a pair to go toe to toe with cars on the mean city streets, so why not show the world just how confident you are?

Bike Balls is exposing itself to the cycling world with a Kickstarter campaign to bring its anatomically similar tail light to the streets. The LED is cradled inside a squishy silicone sack, which is wholly illuminated as it swings to and fro under your saddle. The effect, they suggest, is a bigger, more noticeable hit of light that grabs drivers’ attention by the, um, you know…

Since you can’t hide them in your trousers when it’s time to go incognito, the strap is designed to quickly unhook and store them away safely (in Sweetie’s purse) while you’re away from your bike.

Just fondle the Bike Balls to turn them on, squeezing gently to cycle through the modes. The silicone housing is weatherproof, hiding the electronics, LED and two coin cell batteries.

bike balls anatomically shaped bicycle tail light

The balls hang low and wobble to and fro, increasing the attention they grab, further enhancing the safety function. Check their Kickstarter campaign to grab an early bird special pair now for just $10 if you hurry, or $13 if you procrastinate. Full retail is expected to be about $20.

So, does this mean the aero tuck position with fender renders the goat?

Balls.bike

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40 Comments
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JR
JR
8 years ago

Do better!

Lifted Chevy
Lifted Chevy
8 years ago

Hell Yeah Brother!

M.C. Slammer
M.C. Slammer
8 years ago

Thumbs down. Way down.

'Merika
'Merika
8 years ago

Ironic, given that this original demographic prides itself on running cyclists off the road in Southern rural towns.

The Conductor
The Conductor
8 years ago

What’s next Bike Boobs?

No thank you. Is the target audience 3rd graders?

Ted
Ted
8 years ago

Im speechless

Robert Axle Project
8 years ago

Already been done, and done better.

DeeEight
DeeEight
8 years ago

Well I pledged for five. But then I’m not a politically correct prude.

Sardinien
Sardinien
8 years ago

I refuse to think that some 19 years old San Francisco kid will make it to buy a penthouse condo on the bay after Kickstarting this sh*t..

Matthew
Matthew
8 years ago

Does anyone have a sense of humor?
Although I wouldn’t pick a “pair” up, I think it’s creative and pretty funny.

If anything, the people in the bike industry need to lighten up a little and remember that a majority of folks out there ride bikes to have fun.

Smile moar.

ObligatedToSay
ObligatedToSay
8 years ago

Too bad this isn’t a prostate cancer fund …raiser.

BEERandSPOKES
8 years ago

It was bound to happen eventually!!!

Bob069
Bob069
8 years ago

This light system is the ball, some people say I’m childish but I’m glad to be! I’m gonna have the balls to put those balls on all of me bike! Scrotum 4 all, all 4 scrotum!

briderdt
8 years ago

In the “just because you can…” column.

satisFACTORYrider
satisFACTORYrider
8 years ago

that’s pretty funny. they should come in sizes…small for roadies and bigger for mtbs and fatbikes

Dangle Left
Dangle Left
8 years ago

These are brilliant…I’m amazed it’s taken this long since Truck Nuts have been out for so long.

Its a gag…you guys need to “lighten” up and go with the “swing”. Just “hang” out and go “nuts”!

duder
duder
8 years ago

pledged

Slow Joe Crow
Slow Joe Crow
8 years ago

The immaturity is stunning, but nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

JasonK
JasonK
8 years ago

As the Brits like to say, it’s not big and it’s not clever.

And preempt the weak, obvious double entendre: it’s still not big.

CeeJay
CeeJay
8 years ago

They forgot to add little hairs that light up.

Greek Grouse
Greek Grouse
8 years ago

I’m with Matthew on this one. Cyclists could stand to have more fun on their bikes.

Kevin Hodgson
Kevin Hodgson
8 years ago

Simultaneously the best and worst bike product I’ve ever seen. Sometimes something is so utterly awful, it becomes genius.

Zachary Brown
Zachary Brown
8 years ago

Terrible post. I have been run off the road many times by the (deleted) that have these on big trucks. I cannot imagine even one cyclists buying these. Except for maybe that crazy single speed worlds deejay guy that was up here just to be more of a (deleted)!

chasejj
chasejj
8 years ago

I just find it offensive that they are pink. Most cyclists would more likely be in the blue color category.

Trail Dog
Trail Dog
8 years ago

@Zarachary Brown:

Think of it as reappropriation.

johnk
johnk
8 years ago

Please, no. I don’t want to have to try to explain this to my young kids.
This yet another ridiculously immature product that no one “really” needs, but yet someone is hoping to get rich quick from. C’mon, if you have the intelligence to come up with a product that has made it this far, at least make it something useful and tasteful.

Psi Squared
Psi Squared
8 years ago

That denominator keeps getting lower.

Antipodean_G
8 years ago

Nothing to do with fun, having fun or being uptight. Seriously bad taste as as others have said before, the only people I see sporting these are redneck douches in trucks or similar

benzo
benzo
8 years ago

What about Ovaries?

Emily
Emily
8 years ago

I want the ovaries edition!!! Although, one would have to be the size of a cantaloupe because my body is just hateful.

Emily
Emily
8 years ago

Also, bit of a rip off of these- http://youtu.be/tLxg0dbvokQ
Watch it, it’s great!!

Pistolero
Pistolero
8 years ago

so many april’s fould lately, thank you kickstarter!!!

Lance
Lance
8 years ago

Is this product available in a ‘single’ version? Also, can I get it in yellow?

Tim
Tim
8 years ago

I can finally ditch my saddle bag that breaks rule #31 for this saddle bag!

onaseriousnote
onaseriousnote
8 years ago

Humans are waisting this planet by creating crap like this. Like most of the rubbish that dx.com and is mass manufacturers. Who buys it? Who needs it? So tragic that this stuff is being bought and therefore encouraging manufacturers to kick out more plastic waste sh1t.

Ra
Ra
8 years ago

I don’t need a nut bag to be ‘strong’ – give me a pair of swinging ovaries any day!!

Eufrat
Eufrat
8 years ago

one should be hanging lower than the other

jeff
jeff
8 years ago

I have 8 truck balls that I’ve had the pleasure of confiscating from unsuspecting man-childs. These might be a greater challenge, but I’m up for it. Fortunate for the bearers of these that it’s a free society. I could think of much worse things to do than stealing them.

DeeEight
DeeEight
8 years ago

They achieved their kickstarter funding goal in less than three days… shows how little the whiners commenting here know about the real world.

Mindless
Mindless
8 years ago

I will order it

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