Gear Grinder: How to make the Most Hipster Coffee on the Planet

Gear Grinder: How to make the Most Hipster Coffee on the Planet

Love single speeds, and love coffee – what if there was a way you could combine your two loves to produce the most artisanal cup of coffee around? That’s right, we’re talking about affixing a grinder to your singlespeed bicycle to obtain the freshest grounds possible all by hand foot.

Clip into your new coffee grinder, next.

Gear Grinder: How to make the Most Hipster Coffee on the Planet

Gear Grinder: How to make the Most Hipster Coffee on the Planet Gear Grinder: How to make the Most Hipster Coffee on the Planet

Created by Dan Hill and Dave Buonaguidi from London ad agency Karmarama, the Gear Grinder is the first chain driven coffee grinder that attaches to the seat say of a single speed bicycle.  According to Hill, “As far as I’m concerned this is up there with the discovery of fire and the creation of the internet in its value to the people of earth.” Buonaguidi added that, “I also believe that hand or foot grinding is better than machine grinding because the imperfections in the ‘analogue’ grinding process creates an unevenness which adds to the subtle notes of the coffee flavor.”

The concept is sound, running a flip flop hub with the fixed gear attached to the grinder. Load up the hopper with up to 20g of your favorite bean, and pedal way until ground. Pedal the bike, and the hub would power the chain theoretically attached to the grinder. Perfect for those times you want to get up and spin around the block a few times before having your usual cup of joe. According to the website, the Gear Grinder will be offered in three finishes, chrome, brushed steel, and metallic mocha.

If this isn’t a bit of satire, it probably should be with its £350.00 ($568!!) price tag. Maybe if that price was for the whole bike with the grinder attached…

Comments

badbikemechanic - 12/18/13 - 8:48am

I was a hipster in college 15 years ago. When will the youths think of something new and unique? Stop following in our footsteps the path is very well beaten.

NASH - 12/18/13 - 8:58am

As anybody who knows anything, bike riders drink coffee before riding not after, this is stupid just for that reason.

ant1 - 12/18/13 - 9:11am

NASH – when the earth’s magnetic poles switch and time starts running backwards, it will all make sense.

MikeC - 12/18/13 - 9:15am

I’m not sure if this goes above or below the bicycle-powered blender on my “to get” list…

NASH - 12/18/13 - 9:39am

Hope it makes a loud whirling noise like “waaaaaaaaaaaaankeeeeeeeer”, to let everybody know what is going on.

HornyBrokeStudent - 12/18/13 - 9:55am

As a college student, I could use one of these to get myself invited over to a girl’s dorm to “grind” a cupa coffee. btw.. I’m broke, maybe Dan & Dave will help me out for Christmas?

Bas - 12/18/13 - 10:05am

pretty pointless… now to the important stuff: is that a klein frame?

jaas - 12/18/13 - 10:07am

don’t be mad people. if you’re gonna be a hipster you might as well own up to it and go all in

Stevil - 12/18/13 - 10:11am

I prefer to use a hammer.

professorVelo - 12/18/13 - 10:25am

BAS – nice call on the Klein frame. I’d guess pre-Trek

eddy - 12/18/13 - 10:39am

So much YES in these comments.

Ghost Rider - 12/18/13 - 10:39am

@NASH — what about the post-ride espresso? Or the mid-ride espresso? There are a ton of cyclists who don’t just drink it before rides…

Gabe - 12/18/13 - 10:43am

Nice Klein frame

Whangdangdoodle - 12/18/13 - 10:46am

You can’t purchase one unless you pass the ironic mustache requirement.

Ben - 12/18/13 - 10:47am

What, no custom colors to match my Deep-Vs? WHHHAAAAAAA!

Peter R - 12/18/13 - 11:00am

Well, if it ain’t a burr grinder, that it’s just that much more useless! No info on the website if it is blade or burr.

delboy - 12/18/13 - 11:01am

Zach, you messing with us? This is clearly designed to get people annoyed and it’s working…

Dockboy - 12/18/13 - 11:03am

I love that the imperfections in the grind are supposed to improve the coffee, contrary to what I’ve learned about coffee grinders and making from every other source.
It’s like saying that uneven welds add to the character and uniqueness of a bike.

Jake - 12/18/13 - 11:33am

I can’t believe Bike Rumor fell for this, this is a weed grinder.

NotAMachinist - 12/18/13 - 11:45am

Can’t be a real hipster, there are brakes on that bike.

Slow Joe Crow - 12/18/13 - 11:52am

It makes a change from the umpteen bottle openers I ‘ve seen but it seems to prove the theory that hipsters will buy almost anything that has a slick website and a fancy back story.

patrik - 12/18/13 - 12:02pm

It seems the bike side has taken care of its side. However, I’m sure the coffee side will chime in with technical reasons why tumbling the beans in such a brutal manner pre-pour actually degrades the quality of the resulting brew.

Maybe you can alter the gear ratio of the grinder to suit the style and grind desired? (“For a fine Arabica French press brew, run a 22×12; for course espresso blends in drip systems, run 18×36.”)

Colin - 12/18/13 - 12:04pm

Who grinds their coffee? I just eat beans by the handful.

meat - 12/18/13 - 12:29pm

I’m pretty sure we’ve been trolled.

d - 12/18/13 - 12:37pm

a chain tensioner?! I’m calling hipster-foul. No way you can grind a decent cup of coffee with a chain tensioner and brakes. Obviously these guys are not from Portland.

Reformed Roadie - 12/18/13 - 12:41pm

Does it make a ‘Special Blend’, incorporating all the flavor of road salt and black snow?
Yum…

I am also thinking that someone – if they cared – could round up spare parts, a used grinder from the Goodwill and Home Depot and make this for about $30?

kurti_sc - 12/18/13 - 1:02pm

well, it sure beats the prototype version they had. The stay mounted steel cannister is a nice touch.
Originally, they had me putting gravel and coffee beans in a ziploc baggie (recycled, of course). The baggie was stuffed in my shorts and I was told to do repeats on a hill climb with waterbars. I was like, What the hell, but the grinds turned out okay and my chamois lost that funky odor. two birds – one bean. nice, but this is better anyway. much better.

anon - 12/18/13 - 1:04pm

i wonder how bad their ad ideas are if they come up with this sort of gem

James - 12/18/13 - 1:38pm

It would also work great at home if you had an electric powered wind trainer to mount your bike on, maybe they could invent one of those too.

goathead - 12/18/13 - 1:58pm

When will people that use a chain tensioner get it the right way?! why would you pull the chain down, and thus away, from tooth engagement?? A derailleur pulls up and then back. Horizontal dropouts or GTFO!

chase - 12/18/13 - 3:34pm

This thing is freakin’worthless unless it is attached to a Bamboo cargo bike built by Indonesian Pygmies using bamboo cut by the teeth of Panda bears and bonded with glue made from the rendered bodies of endangered monkeys.
Until then I am not interested.
We want Carbon bike stuff and more gears. What about that don’t you understand?

John V - 12/18/13 - 4:15pm

This thing is freakin’ worthless… without a matching hot water kettle and press pot.

Speedy - 12/18/13 - 5:52pm

Look at BR – who’s doing the trolling now. Well played Zach.

Charlie - 12/18/13 - 9:18pm

This requires riding on the single-speed side, so that the fixed side grinds the coffee. That’s not very hipster.

Dockboy - 12/18/13 - 10:41pm

@Charlie, you could ride on the fixed side and the freewheel, spinning “backwards,” would drive it just fine. You just need the flip flop hub for the extra gear, unless you substituted in a centerlock or 6-bolt mount cog.

Stu C - 12/19/13 - 5:26am

Do you all fail to see this as an ironic joke or is it me that fails to see the sarcasm in your comments?

What? - 12/19/13 - 6:34am

Sounds like a great invention! Just wondering how durable it is? When I am shredding the gnar and lay it down, will this hold up? Does the lid stay on if you are doing 6ft drops? More info needed. Does it work with 27.5? Really too little info so far, but at that price might just give it a shot.

Ditto - 12/19/13 - 8:03am

Weed grinder.
@jake – get the vape strapped to the front dyno-hub.

Olo - 12/19/13 - 8:36am

Über hipster :-O

Marc - 12/19/13 - 12:00pm

I’ll wait until it’s on sale on Chain Reaction

Kark - 12/19/13 - 1:08pm

from their site;
“the imperfections in the ‘analogue’ grinding process creates an unevenness which adds to the subtle notes of the coffee flavour.”

those “notes” created by the “unevenness” are called bitters or in trade talk a “sink shot”.

P Face - 12/20/13 - 9:54am

Oh I get it now, April 1st!

Topmounter - 12/20/13 - 10:57am

If you like this, then you’ll love the top-tube mounted penispump coming on April 1st.

plebs - 12/21/13 - 12:49pm

If they could add a heater, perhaps powered by a dynamo in the front hub, or even just the brakes, you could readily build an espresso machine using a pressure vessel. And if you had a desalination plant, you wouldn’t even have to add water…

Wilson - 12/30/13 - 8:14pm

$568? Hmm, sounds reasonable. For about the same price, you could have a Vitamix bike blender setup, with the difference being the freedom option to bike blend anything you would with a Vitamix Advance pitcher (commercial grade). Here’s an example on a similar product. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8kLgfxAs74

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