Another Gem From Craigslist: Fixie Don’t Care


Another Craigslist post worth sharing. This time from a “Failed Hipster” in the San Luis Obispo area:

I tried so hard. I dated a girl from Portland. I criticized cheese. I applied the term artisanal to every inanimate object that went in or on my body. I burned and singed my forearms just to make it look like I was going to culinary school. I grew Carol Brady hair. I got itchy from the finest flannel and I cut off circulation from the waist down with jeans that made my ass look like an elevator button.

. . .And I rode a fixie.

No more. It’s all gotta go. The hair, the macrame, the texting overages, the Netflix and Hulu Plus. The record collection (have you ever tried to box up and move an effin stack of LPs?!) . . .and the bike. Pictured below is the bike. It’s beautiful. It’s got red rims. Red chain. Red tires. Red handlebars shaped like devil horns — because it’s the devil.

The guys at the hipster store don’t tell you fixes don’t stop. So I will. Fixies don’t stop. Stop sign? Fixie don’t care. Car coming turning in front of you at a three-way stop? Fixie laugh. Want Chipotle? Nope. Fixie want protein powder/beet/purple carrot/bee pollen juice and won’t stop till he gets it. Fixie has a mind of his own.

Yesterday, Fixie got pulled over twice by SLO PD in three hours. In six months time, Fixie collected more tickets than a scalper for a Radiohead show at Hollywood Bowl.

I’m selling this badboy and tipping the dregs of my last PBR tall boy in his memory.

The (Devil) Fixie:
Cinelli Gazzetta Frame (2011)
Crane Creek and Origin 8 components

$1,100 ($1,600 new)


Thanks to Kurt for the tip.


13 thoughts on “Another Gem From Craigslist: Fixie Don’t Care

  1. You know, I wanted to click on “more”, but this all just to complicated and difficult to describe…nevermind.

  2. WOW. That is funny. There are way too many hipster wannabees in P-town . You gave it a solid effort, but I am glad to hear there is one less hipster on the road now. Fixie dont give a F*%k. Enjoy the Chipotle!

  3. its kinda funny that he got pulled over for running stop signs when he spent the money on the rims with a machined surface meant for a brake. also, when asking for $1100, i’d hope that there would be a better lock involved. other then that…classic

  4. Lets hope the next pretentious owner has enough sense to get some straps for the pedals, or the bike won’t stop for him either.

  5. Fixies aren’t for hipsters, they’re for people smart enough to figure out how to ride them. Last three comments: Like, like, like.

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