Found: Ahren’s Cycles Wisecracker Seatpost and Headset Spacer Bottle Openers

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

Ahrens Cycles’ Wisecracker is a clever little bottle opener. It comes in versions to mount to your seatpost, workstand or downhill fork stanchion. Why?

“Because beer can’t open itself.”

There’s also the Wisecracker Lite, with a 1-1/8″ opening to act as a spacer between your headset and stem, leaving a bottle opener conveniently tucked under the stem in case of an “emergency.” Stack height is just 4.8mm and weight is a mere 16g. This one’s just $12 (plus S&H), and they’re available in custom orders with your own logo or name laser etched on them. For those with Ti or raw steel frames, there’s a stainless steel version, too.

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

The Wisecracker comes in all four standard seatpost diameters plus a 1.5″ (left) for either your work stand or other large tubes, including DH fork uppers.

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

The seatpost models will retail for $20.

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

Yep, full custom, baby. And we’ve got a handful of the Wisecracker Lite and are full of the holiday spirit. So here’s the deal. Leave a 140-character-or-less comment on this post detailing how you could use one of these custom versions. Make sure you use a real email (and don’t freak if your comment doesn’t appear right away, we manually approve them). We’ll pick our favorite response and mail that person their very own Wisecracker!

Comments must be posted by Midnight EASTERN STANDARD TIME on Thursday, Dec. 15. Anything submitted after that will be read, possibly enjoyed, but not eligible for winning. Our writers are the sole judges on which comment is best.


Dave - 12/14/11 - 9:07pm

Looks like this would be perfect for double-duty as a dropper seatpost cable guide. That’s my plan.

Joshua Murdock - 12/14/11 - 9:09pm

Nutritional value, coupled with superb taste, make a frosty brew the perfect recovery drink. This will help me recover right after every race and ride and go faster!

Arn Allemand - 12/14/11 - 9:14pm

I would like to use it to open a beer, but it looks like it would double as a headset spacer…

Huffman - 12/14/11 - 9:17pm

Impressing everyone with my home brewed stouts and IPAs would be so much easier with this uber cool must have tool!! I also think it should be mounted on a new 29er, now I have a reason to spend big at the LBS for Christmas.

Gabe - 12/14/11 - 9:19pm

I could use it to open a beer.

Evan T - 12/14/11 - 9:22pm

Because I’m going to put it on a Specialized Tarmac SL4.

Troy - 12/14/11 - 9:34pm

I need on to open my home brew. That’s right I make my own beer, nuff said

Greg - 12/14/11 - 9:44pm

The so-called bottle opener on the d-hanger of my Santa Cruz Heckler obviously wasn’t designed by a lover of fine ales. I need this!

Ghost Rider - 12/14/11 - 9:47pm

Found? As in “just found”? Because these have been around for years.

That being said, I would use one to open a delicious post-ride Mexican Coke…the one with genuine soul-replenishing sugar.

Jeff Sobul - 12/14/11 - 9:51pm

I have a work stand with a try and a spot fory beer. But nothing to open it with. Help!

uglyyeti - 12/14/11 - 10:07pm

Because my doctor just told me that more beer will lower my LDL cholesterol and triglycerides. Please don’t let a tricky bottlecap stand between me and my medication.

Will - 12/14/11 - 10:37pm

Because I turned 21 last week and this would make the perfect accessory for Post Collegiate Road Races in the spring. Finish up the collegiate crit then pop the top of a cold one following the podium.

Matt - 12/14/11 - 10:44pm

I would love to have a Wisecracker Lite on my mountain bike for those post ride brews!

steevo - 12/14/11 - 10:51pm

I don’t have anything witty to say. I just want one, plain and simple.

TJ - 12/14/11 - 10:59pm

I need one of these to crack open the bottle of Scotch Ale I keep in my bottle cage when my commute gets too damn cold.

OE - 12/14/11 - 11:06pm

Because I’ll send you a picture of it in use at Rohn during the 2012 Iditarod Trail Invitational.

Nathan - 12/14/11 - 11:23pm

No Beer For Afghanistan Cross Bike, needs something to remind us of hops and home.

faf - 12/14/11 - 11:40pm

My tires are begggginnnnggggg you for one of these. They are tired of having to open beer bottles by spinning really fast and hitting the cap two or three times.

Nick - 12/14/11 - 11:56pm

I let you know about a sweet Velodrome that may come to the DC Area – eh? Maybe?

Evan - 12/15/11 - 12:14am

This would look amazing underneath my Thomson stem! :)

Patrick - 12/15/11 - 12:22am

That would be a nice Christmas gift for my girl ……ehhh sorry for my bike. I hope it will open coca cola / pepsi bottles as well.

pdxley - 12/15/11 - 1:33am

A haiku for brews:

It’s getting colder
Cyclocross season is here
Frosty brews for speed

Happy holidays.

FireGuru - 12/15/11 - 1:56am

im about to upgrade all my components to Red, and since its my first time wrenching alone it could be a long cold night in the garage…..all that lager may or may not help my build turn out any better but im pretty sure itll keep my spirits up

rich - 12/15/11 - 2:47am

it gives me a great reason to keep my bikes in the house, and not the shed.

”Now then wife, where did I leave that bottle opener…? Oh yeah, it’s on the bike!”

Ben - 12/15/11 - 3:26am

We all know the importance of keeping hydrated on long rides, and this product seems an intuitive step!

Bikes also require frequent maintenance to keep them shifting well .. and I like to have a beer while I tune my derailleurs, and this would be perfect. The bike just keeps on giving.

Gabe - 12/15/11 - 3:41am

Not only do I want to rep Bikerumor everywhere I ride, but I am sick of using my teeth to open bottles!

h2ofuel - 12/15/11 - 5:23am

Yes! I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting for some sort of a bottle-opening device like this. These things are impossible to find nowadays. If only they would put them on multi-tools, shoes, dropouts, saddles, belt buckles, etc. the world would be a better place. All in good fun I suppose; if someone will buy it, then someone will make it. Happy holidays all.

Árni - 12/15/11 - 7:10am

Because I don’t have one!

bobikes - 12/15/11 - 7:13am

These types of things are why I visit BikeRumor. Ahrens + BikeRumor = Happy me post ride.

Andrew - 12/15/11 - 8:05am

I ride a road bike. With Look pedals. SPD can open beer. Look can’t. Help!

dean - 12/15/11 - 8:19am

The WiseCracker makes material the otherwise unstated reason we ride so long and so hard: the post-ride beer.

Harrison - 12/15/11 - 8:30am

To keep the spirit of cyclocross alive all year long!

Michael - 12/15/11 - 8:38am

Because nothing is better after a XC race then downing an ice cold brew from one of your race team’s sponsors. Yazoo baby!!!

Adam Johnson - 12/15/11 - 8:46am

By putting this in my headset stack, I will look down and remember what awaits after the ride, and will ride faster, faster, FASTER GO GO GO GET BACK TO THE CAR THERE BEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!

Jonathan - 12/15/11 - 9:00am

Because I can’t wait to see the look on my road racing weight weenie friends faces when I ride up with one of these on my seat post. Plus in Texas you really need a cold beverage after a nice summer ride!

Thor H - 12/15/11 - 9:12am

Because i don’t use energy drink on my rides – i use beer!

mike - 12/15/11 - 9:19am

Because it would add weight to my Niner.

Michael - 12/15/11 - 10:28am

A can of worms won’t open itself.

Kay - 12/15/11 - 10:45am

Is it just me or is the design flawed? Seems to me that flat side that opens the bottle should be toward the middle. How else would you be able to pry open a bottle with seat post or bike in the way.

Todd - 12/15/11 - 11:02am

I am cutting cost left and right to fund my riding. A free Wisecracker would help keep me out of the bar post ride…

Moonshine - 12/15/11 - 11:16am

I’ve probably drunk more beer than ½ of the free world population but I usually just chew the caps off… This would be easier… ME WANT!

evolvo13 - 12/15/11 - 11:28am

Seat prost!

Keith - 12/15/11 - 11:37am

The more beer i drink, the more beer you can drink and still be faster than you. The DFL result you save could be your own!

Keith - 12/15/11 - 11:38am

Correction: the more beer i drink, the more beer you can drink and still be faster than ME.

jason - 12/15/11 - 11:38am

Ow wow I could really use one of these! MTB Mike would stop making me open his bottles with my jacked up teeth AND the custom BikeRumor engraving would forever prove I no longer read the Molly Cameron blog!

Mark Hodgson - 12/15/11 - 12:00pm

Brand-new bottle opener attached to my old bike!
Finish ride, crack a beer, what’s there not to like?

Tim Miller - 12/15/11 - 12:02pm

Wow, a bike hanger that opens beers

ultradawn - 12/15/11 - 12:29pm

No bike snob, my used demo carbolicious frame makes me seem so! This opener, prominently mounted, would remind the world i truly belong in the drinking class!

Bruce - 12/15/11 - 1:01pm

After a hard day of building trails at Moore’s Spring there is nothing worse then not being able to open your reward!

Xris - 12/15/11 - 1:15pm

I would definitely have to use these after a long epic day in the mountains. Coffee works, but sometimes a really great ride deserves a brew for everyone involved.

CBontheMV - 12/15/11 - 1:23pm

Since I pose no threat to the podium runners, it would be nice if my rig served a purpose other than carrying me around as pack meat.

Jimmy - 12/15/11 - 1:57pm

I need a churchkey for my Sunday rides.

slow joe crow - 12/15/11 - 2:20pm

I think this would look great on my cyclocross bike for beer handups.

HarryRumor - 12/15/11 - 2:38pm

No worries now, since I no longer carry around a lighter (wrks well to open brew ski’s) due to being a quiter, with the wisecracker on my BA mountain bike, a brew ski is just a tilt away.

Dzuulie - 12/15/11 - 3:56pm

The perfect piece of jewelry for my Salsa Big Mama Miss Berlin!

smr5 - 12/15/11 - 4:03pm

I would put this on my first gen On-One Inbred 29er. Inbreds can use all the help they can get, even to perform relatively simple tasks such as opening beer. It would be particularly useful to toast 2012 on my annual New Years Day ride with my buddies.

Matt Armbruster - 12/15/11 - 4:21pm

To be proudly installed on my High Roller Adult Size big wheel trike by the crack engineering team at Why? Rare is the big wheel event that doesn’t need an opener at the ready to spread joy and goodwill amongst men.

Marco - 12/15/11 - 4:31pm

I can already see the face of my enduro-ride colleagues with their mouth wide open when we have just finished to enjoy the best, long and exciting singletrack full of flow riding, after 2 or 3 hours of sweat and dust, with no liquid in the camelback and I open some cold beers to share together with my new cool Wisecracker bottle opener…

caliente - 12/15/11 - 4:34pm

I’d use it to crack beers for all of my little elves to thank them for their hard work. Then I’d crack a beer for myself. Ho Ho Ho.

slowpokke-on-wheelz - 12/15/11 - 4:40pm

gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! gimme! there, 140 character!

Jason - 12/15/11 - 4:57pm

That is the absolute most trendy piece of cycling accessory trash yet!

martin - 12/15/11 - 5:17pm

The most important news comes from I believe in no higher power ! I only believe in you ! You are my everything ! I love you ! You make my soul happy ! Could you please pass me the bottle opener !!!???

Sinman - 12/15/11 - 5:25pm

I’m building a Canfield Bro’s Yelli Screamy this winter, and this would be perfect for the bike, and my post ride needs!!

Cuira - 12/15/11 - 5:50pm

I would use it to give my truck’s door mechanism a break. On camping MTBing trips I never can find an opener fast enough to keep me from using the mechanism on my passenger door. Tends to blast beer spray all over the place and one day may wreck the door harware.

Ryan - 12/15/11 - 6:06pm

I would ride through the night opening beer whenever a bottle opener is missing.

Chance Openerstrong - 12/15/11 - 7:36pm

People often ask me, Chance Openerstrong, why do you imbibe after races? With no hesitation I take a long swig, burp and explain: because in heaven there is no beer.

Al Robertson - 12/15/11 - 8:14pm

Beer…’s why I ride….
ride to drink-drink to ride

ThinkBikeminded - 12/15/11 - 8:30pm

Because it would be the perfect start for my new cyclocross build.

Adam - 12/15/11 - 8:31pm

Because I always bring the beers for post-ride, and hate when I can’t get them open to share with friends and celebrate a great (now fat-bike) ride.

Dave - 12/15/11 - 10:02pm

If you need this product to open a beer, you’re not a dedicated enough drinker. ‘Round my shop we like to play a game called “open your beer on this”, where “this” is the nearest object at hand. If I can get 5 people in a row to open a bottle using a stack of business cards and you’ve got a whole bike in front of you, you don’t need this product.

Dave Holland - 12/15/11 - 11:56pm

I need one of these because I’m not actually that cool. If I was really cool I would just buy one and not be a tool by having the BikeRumor! logo on my bottle opener. Not that there is anything wrong with being a tool for BikeRumor!, but there is a certain cool factor that comes with spending 20 bucks on an incognito beer opener. Having said that, I realize I probably won’t get a free bottle opener because it wouldn’t make sense to have a cool product seen in use by someone who really isn’t all that cool. Damn! One of the most uncool things you can say online is “having said that”, I’m really screwed now.

MBR - 12/16/11 - 8:47am

I’ll never win anything in my life. I’m obviously a loser. I didn’t think of this idea first and I checked my e-mail too late to win. Loser times two! Guess I’ll sulk off and have a beer… :-(

Mike - 12/16/11 - 1:11pm

A four line sonnet:

Now is the Winter of our discontent

When in a drought I all alone beweep my dehydrated state

Art more spacer and most temperament

With bicycle friends to share my IPA

Kristibee - 12/19/11 - 8:50am

Our writers have all chimed in and given us their favorites – and we have 4 winners of a Bikerumor Wisecracker Lite. If your name is listed below, we will be getting in touch with you via email. Congrats!

Evan T – 12/14/11 – 9:22pm
Because I’m going to put it on a Specialized Tarmac SL4.

pdxley – 12/15/11 – 1:33am
A haiku for brews:
It’s getting colder
Cyclocross season is here
Frosty brews for speed
Happy holidays.

Michael – 12/15/11 – 10:28am
A can of worms won’t open itself.

evolvo13 – 12/15/11 – 11:28am
Seat prost!

Evan T - 12/19/11 - 10:04am


evolvo13 - 12/19/11 - 11:38am

Sweet! Thanks!

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