“It makes you go faster”.
First off, this is not a joke, at least as near as we can tell. What’s more is that we want to believe that someone out there actually makes a $279.99 carbon fiber toilet seat. If it is, in fact, a joke, please don’t tell us. We don’t want the truth, we can’t handle the truth. We want to live in a world where Stephen Colbert is serious and Borat is real. A world where men, real men (like Borat and Stephen Colbert), use carbon fiber toilet seats.
The very real company that manufactures this incredible upgrade for any standard toilet allegedly uses “hand layered 550,000 psi tensile carbon fiber around a premoulded foam core,” and they have “experience in making carbon fiber bicycle and race parts, so the quality is top notch.” (Insert joke about which bicycle company they are associated with here.)
For more photos, and…(really? Seriously?) specs, after the break…
- Made with 100% real 2 x 2 twill carbon fiber
- Fit standard household toilets
- Comes with mounting hardware
- Dimensions: 16.5″ long (from nose to hinge centerline). 14.25″ wide
- Weighs: 2lbs 11oz (1,230 grams)
- Due to the nature of the product, sales are final
The “Downshift Handle” upgrade. You’ve gone as far as buying a carbon fiber toilet seat, why not go all the way?
If the $279 price tag is too intimidating for you, you might be able to find a used, pin-striped model on Ebay. Perhaps the fact that it’s carbon fiber will off-set the fact that it’s a USED TOILET SEAT.
This item is available for purchase, when it’s actually in stock, from Carbon Fiber Gear’s website, so get ’em while they’re HOT! (Sorry, couldn’t help it.)