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Found: Ahren’s Cycles Wisecracker Seatpost and Headset Spacer Bottle Openers

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers
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Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

Ahrens Cycles’ Wisecracker is a clever little bottle opener. It comes in versions to mount to your seatpost, workstand or downhill fork stanchion. Why?

“Because beer can’t open itself.”

There’s also the Wisecracker Lite, with a 1-1/8″ opening to act as a spacer between your headset and stem, leaving a bottle opener conveniently tucked under the stem in case of an “emergency.” Stack height is just 4.8mm and weight is a mere 16g. This one’s just $12 (plus S&H), and they’re available in custom orders with your own logo or name laser etched on them. For those with Ti or raw steel frames, there’s a stainless steel version, too.

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

The Wisecracker comes in all four standard seatpost diameters plus a 1.5″ (left) for either your work stand or other large tubes, including DH fork uppers.

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

The seatpost models will retail for $20.

Arhens Cycles Wisecracker custom seatpost and steerer tube headset spacer bottle openers

Yep, full custom, baby. And we’ve got a handful of the Wisecracker Lite and are full of the holiday spirit. So here’s the deal. Leave a 140-character-or-less comment on this post detailing how you could use one of these custom Bikerumor.com versions. Make sure you use a real email (and don’t freak if your comment doesn’t appear right away, we manually approve them). We’ll pick our favorite response and mail that person their very own Bikerumor.com Wisecracker!

Comments must be posted by Midnight EASTERN STANDARD TIME on Thursday, Dec. 15. Anything submitted after that will be read, possibly enjoyed, but not eligible for winning. Our writers are the sole judges on which comment is best.

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79 Comments
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Dave
Dave
12 years ago

Looks like this would be perfect for double-duty as a dropper seatpost cable guide. That’s my plan.

Joshua Murdock
12 years ago

Nutritional value, coupled with superb taste, make a frosty brew the perfect recovery drink. This will help me recover right after every race and ride and go faster!

Arn Allemand
Arn Allemand
12 years ago

I would like to use it to open a beer, but it looks like it would double as a headset spacer…

Huffman
Huffman
12 years ago

Impressing everyone with my home brewed stouts and IPAs would be so much easier with this uber cool must have tool!! I also think it should be mounted on a new 29er, now I have a reason to spend big at the LBS for Christmas.

Gabe
Gabe
12 years ago

I could use it to open a beer.

Evan T
Evan T
12 years ago

Because I’m going to put it on a Specialized Tarmac SL4.

Troy
Troy
12 years ago

I need on to open my home brew. That’s right I make my own beer, nuff said

Greg
Greg
12 years ago

The so-called bottle opener on the d-hanger of my Santa Cruz Heckler obviously wasn’t designed by a lover of fine ales. I need this!

Ghost Rider
12 years ago

Found? As in “just found”? Because these have been around for years.

That being said, I would use one to open a delicious post-ride Mexican Coke…the one with genuine soul-replenishing sugar.

Jeff Sobul
Jeff Sobul
12 years ago

I have a work stand with a try and a spot fory beer. But nothing to open it with. Help!

uglyyeti
uglyyeti
12 years ago

Because my doctor just told me that more beer will lower my LDL cholesterol and triglycerides. Please don’t let a tricky bottlecap stand between me and my medication.

Will
Will
12 years ago

Because I turned 21 last week and this would make the perfect accessory for Post Collegiate Road Races in the spring. Finish up the collegiate crit then pop the top of a cold one following the podium.

Matt
12 years ago

I would love to have a Wisecracker Lite on my mountain bike for those post ride brews!

steevo
steevo
12 years ago

I don’t have anything witty to say. I just want one, plain and simple.

TJ
TJ
12 years ago

I need one of these to crack open the bottle of Scotch Ale I keep in my bottle cage when my commute gets too damn cold.

OE
OE
12 years ago

Because I’ll send you a picture of it in use at Rohn during the 2012 Iditarod Trail Invitational.

Nathan
Nathan
12 years ago

No Beer For Afghanistan Cross Bike, needs something to remind us of hops and home.

faf
faf
12 years ago

My tires are begggginnnnggggg you for one of these. They are tired of having to open beer bottles by spinning really fast and hitting the cap two or three times.

Nick
Nick
12 years ago

I let you know about a sweet Velodrome that may come to the DC Area – eh? Maybe?

Evan
Evan
12 years ago

This would look amazing underneath my Thomson stem! 🙂

Patrick
12 years ago

That would be a nice Christmas gift for my girl ……ehhh sorry for my bike. I hope it will open coca cola / pepsi bottles as well.

pdxley
12 years ago

A haiku for brews:

It’s getting colder
Cyclocross season is here
Frosty brews for speed

Happy holidays.

FireGuru
FireGuru
12 years ago

im about to upgrade all my components to Red, and since its my first time wrenching alone it could be a long cold night in the garage…..all that lager may or may not help my build turn out any better but im pretty sure itll keep my spirits up

rich
rich
12 years ago

it gives me a great reason to keep my bikes in the house, and not the shed.

”Now then wife, where did I leave that bottle opener…? Oh yeah, it’s on the bike!”

Ben
Ben
12 years ago

We all know the importance of keeping hydrated on long rides, and this product seems an intuitive step!

Bikes also require frequent maintenance to keep them shifting well .. and I like to have a beer while I tune my derailleurs, and this would be perfect. The bike just keeps on giving.

Gabe
Gabe
12 years ago

Not only do I want to rep Bikerumor everywhere I ride, but I am sick of using my teeth to open bottles!

h2ofuel
12 years ago

Yes! I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting for some sort of a bottle-opening device like this. These things are impossible to find nowadays. If only they would put them on multi-tools, shoes, dropouts, saddles, belt buckles, etc. the world would be a better place. All in good fun I suppose; if someone will buy it, then someone will make it. Happy holidays all.

Árni
Árni
12 years ago

Because I don’t have one!

bobikes
bobikes
12 years ago

These types of things are why I visit BikeRumor. Ahrens + BikeRumor = Happy me post ride.

Andrew
Andrew
12 years ago

I ride a road bike. With Look pedals. SPD can open beer. Look can’t. Help!

dean
dean
12 years ago

The WiseCracker makes material the otherwise unstated reason we ride so long and so hard: the post-ride beer.

Harrison
Harrison
12 years ago

To keep the spirit of cyclocross alive all year long!

Michael
Michael
12 years ago

Because nothing is better after a XC race then downing an ice cold brew from one of your race team’s sponsors. Yazoo baby!!!

Adam Johnson
Adam Johnson
12 years ago

By putting this in my headset stack, I will look down and remember what awaits after the ride, and will ride faster, faster, FASTER GO GO GO GET BACK TO THE CAR THERE BEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!

Jonathan
Jonathan
12 years ago

Because I can’t wait to see the look on my road racing weight weenie friends faces when I ride up with one of these on my seat post. Plus in Texas you really need a cold beverage after a nice summer ride!

Thor H
Thor H
12 years ago

Because i don’t use energy drink on my rides – i use beer!

mike
mike
12 years ago

Because it would add weight to my Niner.

Michael
Michael
12 years ago

A can of worms won’t open itself.

Kay
Kay
12 years ago

Is it just me or is the design flawed? Seems to me that flat side that opens the bottle should be toward the middle. How else would you be able to pry open a bottle with seat post or bike in the way.

Todd
Todd
12 years ago

I am cutting cost left and right to fund my riding. A free Wisecracker would help keep me out of the bar post ride…

Moonshine
12 years ago

I’ve probably drunk more beer than ½ of the free world population but I usually just chew the caps off… This would be easier… ME WANT!

evolvo13
evolvo13
12 years ago

Seat prost!

Keith
Keith
12 years ago

The more beer i drink, the more beer you can drink and still be faster than you. The DFL result you save could be your own!

Keith
Keith
12 years ago

Correction: the more beer i drink, the more beer you can drink and still be faster than ME.

jason
jason
12 years ago

Ow wow I could really use one of these! MTB Mike would stop making me open his bottles with my jacked up teeth AND the custom BikeRumor engraving would forever prove I no longer read the Molly Cameron blog!

Mark Hodgson
Mark Hodgson
12 years ago

Brand-new bottle opener attached to my old bike!
Finish ride, crack a beer, what’s there not to like?

Tim Miller
Tim Miller
12 years ago

Wow, a bike hanger that opens beers

ultradawn
ultradawn
12 years ago

No bike snob, my used demo carbolicious frame makes me seem so! This opener, prominently mounted, would remind the world i truly belong in the drinking class!

Bruce
Bruce
12 years ago

After a hard day of building trails at Moore’s Spring there is nothing worse then not being able to open your reward!

Xris
Xris
12 years ago

I would definitely have to use these after a long epic day in the mountains. Coffee works, but sometimes a really great ride deserves a brew for everyone involved.

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